I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
