those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
