I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Sober January is a disaster.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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