sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
