what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
We got so high we made milksteak
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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