Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
