i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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