dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
