He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
