so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
