When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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