the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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