As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
