I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
