Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
