Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
