Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
