We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I think people are normalizing furries
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
