Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Randomize
