covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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