just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
