Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
