reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
