so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
