Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
