based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
dude. I can hear the air.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
