he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
