I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
