direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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