Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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