i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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