Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
