How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
