Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
