So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
