so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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