By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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