So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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