This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
