All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
