drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
