He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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