great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
