And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
