found the other keg... it's in the tree
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
