We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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