Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
