She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
