you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
