She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
